Always Tip Your Waiter
by Citizen Cobalt 1
Summary: Two theives stop at an inn in the Makai. With a damn hot waiter at their table. AU. Yoko KuramaHiei. KuronueOC. CitizenCobalt is back!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. This fic was actually rather popular on and had 11 chapters, but for some reason my account was deleted so I decided to become an author here. It sucked though. 2 ½ years worth of work gone! Luckily, I had it all on my computer! Please enjoy this chapter.

The inn was small, but in relatively good condition. It wasn't a place where the two were bound to find company, but at the moment both Kuronue and Kurama were hungry. Hungry, tired, and about 3 hours away from the nearest den.

"I can't believe we're stuck in a dump like this." Kuronue grumbled. "There is no way that I'm going to find a woman in here!"

His partner, Kurama, ignored the black-haired demon's attitude.

"And the men! I would rather sleep with a twitching corpse than with one of the people here!""But that's with the corpse on top right?" Kurama said quietly, "We aren't going to find anyone here. You can sleep alone for one night." Kuronue growled at the reprimand but followed his silver-haired companion into the inn.

It was a noisy place, as the drunks were quite loud. The women sat and flirted with the men while the waiters flitted about with drinks."Good evening! How may I be of service to you handsome gentlemen?" Kurama eyed the busty blonde waitress who was smiling coyly up at him. She might do if Kuronue got too desperate. Rather skinny, though, and not much in the way of curves. Her make up was a bit much, overshadowed her eyes.

"A table for two please. In a corner." Kuronue said. The waitress nodded and escorted them to the small table that stood in a darker part of the room. "My name's Yaone and sorry to say I won't be serving you. I'll send your server along in a minute. But if you want anything don't hesitate to ask," the waitress said, putting a hand on her hip and waiting for a response. "Thank you," Kurama said, glad that he wouldn't have to put up with her. She just nodded and walked away, swaying her hips in an almost comical fashion..

Kuronue groaned. "I told you."

Kurama just rolled his eyes. "She thought it was good. Give the girl credit for trying."Kuronue snorted. "She had no clue what she was...shit."

"Huh?" Kurama followed his friends gaze and realized that a waiter was approaching their table. A very male, very gorgeous, very _short_ waiter. He was five foot nothing with black pants the clung to his slim hips and a tight black shirt with a white vest. His skin was a pale white and his hair was black with a white starbust in the center. It spiked up like flame around his head. The waiter stopped and Kurama found himself looking into a pair of almond shaped eyes with blood red irises framed by long eyelashes. On his chest was a small name tag that read 'Hiei.' Kurama was jerked out of his daze when a deep smooth voice asked, "What's your order?"

Hiei could just barely stop from staring at the creature that sat before him. A kitsune. A totally hot kitsune. He had seen kitsunes before but never this close. They were supposed to be one of the most beautiful species, male and female. This one was no exception. Hiei mentally slapped himself and tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach, "What's your order?"

The kitsune's companion, a dark crow demon, smirked and leaned forward, "I wouldn't mind having an order of you, little one." Hiei bristled slightly before putting his hand on his hip. "I'm not on the menu. What do you want to _eat_?" The bastard never lost his smirk as he looked at the kitsune. "What do you think Kurama?" '_Kurama? The thief, Kurama?' _Hiei frowned as _Kurama_ looked up at him. "I wouldn't mind eating you."

Kurama eyed the delicious creature before him before replying, "I wouldn't mind eating you." The waiter flushed slightly before narrowing his eyes. "As I said before, I'm not on the menu. If you want sex instead of food there are a bunch of whores over there." He gestured toward the opposite side of the room.

Kurama felt a hint of annoyance. "We didn't come here to find a whore little one. You were just plain luck."

"Look. Either order something and let me get back to work or I'll just send a different person over here. I don't have time to fuck the patrons, nor do I plan on it." Kurama was taken back by the little demon's hostility. Kuronue snorted from across the table. "I'll have a Tequile and if you don't mind me saying so, you're lucky that you caught his interest." Hiei glared at him, "I have no interest in him."

Kurama smiled in response, "I'll have a Jien Yusia, my lovely little Kohna." He felt a twinge of amusement as Hiei looked ready to live up to the given nickname and roast him on the spot."What did you just call me?""Kohna, I believe it suits you."Hiei trembled in what appeared to be anger before turning on his heel and stalking towards the bar. Kurma couldn't help but eye the delicious sway of those slim hips the entire way.

Kuronue chuckled, "Point for you Kurama."

'_The nerve of those arrogant bastards!'_ Hiei fumed. He thrust the order at the bartender, who raised an eyebrow at him, before he turned to Yaone, who was sitting on some demon's lap. "Yaone!" She jumped and blinked at him, stupidly. "What now Hiei?" She whined.

"You take table twenty. You like those bastards don't you?" Yaone's eyes brightened and she immediately bounced over to the bar to receive their order.

"Oh no." Kuronue groaned. Kurama cocked an ear to the side.

"What now?" Kuronue nodded in the direction of the bar.

"Guess who." Kurama glanced over just in time to find himself staring at the ample bosom of the waitress, Yaone. He raised his head.

"Why, hello my dear. May I inquire as to where our waiter went?"

Yaone huffed. "He ditched your table and dumped it on me during my break. Not that I mind serving such handsome gentlemen. Here are your drinks."

She set the drinks down and as she did she made sure to show as much cleavage as possible. Kurama felt like barfing at such a hideous sight. She just wasn't in his league. Now Hiei... His golden eyes wandered the room before he found the object of his desire. Hiei was standing next to a table with four male demons and by the looks of it, they too wanted to 'eat' him. Hiei shrugged them off with ease and glanced over his shoulder. His gaze locked with Kurama's and even from there Kurama could see the tremor that went through Hiei's body. Sadly, the contact was broken as the annoying waitress made yet another attempt at propositioning him. "If you boys ever need any of my services, feel free to ask."

"Yes," Kurama said, ignoring Kuronue's scandalized look. "I could use one of your services."

Yaone looked rather surprised but leaned forward and placed a hand on the table. "Well," she purred, "What can I do for you?" He smirked and leaned forward as well. "You can tell me when Hiei gets off work."

Yaone pulled back, looking more than a little insulted. "I don't really know." She snapped but trailed off when Kurama handed her a rather large amount of money. "He gets off the same time I do, at 10:30. And he always leaves through the back door." Kurama leaned back in his chair, "Thank you my dear."

Yaone nodded, "You're welcome." She gave a short bow and scurried off. Kuronue gawked at his friend. "You really like that little bastard, don't you?" Kurama only smiled and settled down to wait for the time when he could possess that lovely creature.

Hiei frowned as Yaone excepted money from the theif. _Why did he give her money. For a fuck? Then why did she seem so pissed before?_ His thoughts were cut off as a hand tried to grope its way up his thigh. He grabbed the offensive object and gave a sharp twist, pleased to hear bones cracking as the owner howled in pain. He let go and made his way toward Yaone whom was serving a party of four.

"Yaone, I need to talk to you now." She apologized to her table before turning towards him. "What? I have tables to wait on."

Hiei gestured to Kurama's table. "That Kitsune. Why'd he give you money?" She tossed her blond hair over her left shoulder and gave a smug smile. "He wanted a nice fuck Hiei darling."

Hiei glared at her. She was lying. No doubt about it.. "Tell me the truth Yaone. Or must I take it from you."

Yaone glanced at his headband and shivered. She knew what was under that strip of cloth and she didn't want it used on her._ But if I tell him, he'll probably kill me anyway._ She was saved by the bartender yelling for her to hurry and take an order of drinks to a table. She laughed nervously and scampered away from the homicidal demon. _Thank whatever God is looking out for me_.

What'd you people think? I hope you enjoyed it because I think I can finish this one. I don't have a single finished fanfic out there. I can't help it that I'm overly critical of my own work! It's just difficult to put on paper. Please review. Dark Desires will be put up on Natoya's account since she now has her own.


	2. Think you can Run from me?

Disclaimer: No, I don't own YYH but I do own the inn, the story plot, and the Yaone person. But if anyone else wants to use the Hiei being a waiter idea than feel free. I hope you enjoy my fanfic and I'll have you know that this is yaoi. If you don't like, don't read or review. Constructive criticism is good though.

Place where the little stars go

Hiei glared at Yaone as she pranced off towards another table. _Why the hell won't she tell me? What did that damn Kitsune say?_ He sighed in exasperation, knowing that he needed to get back to work. He picked up his tray and froze when an arm wrapped around his waist.

"Wanna havva drink with me sweetheart?" Hiei winced at the slurred voice and the heavy smell of alcohol. Another drunk patron, just what he needed. He grabbed the meaty wrist and pulled arm away from his body before he tried to escape to another part of the room. But a second arm wrapped around his hips and the large hand squeezed his flesh unmercifully. "Where ya going? I aint done with ya yet!" Hiei growled low in his throat and grabbed a full bottle of cheap wine off a nearby table. He then swung his arm around and was quite pleased to hear a dull thump as the arm around his waist slid off. He glanced down at the patron and grimaced. It was another Gundrakor. Those ugly demons were regular customers in this part of the Makai. He set the unbroken bottle down on the table, picked up his tray which he'd dropped before he slugged his molester, and walked toward the backroom in slightly higher spirits. It was almost 10:30, he'd gotten to severely injure a patron, and he wouldn't have to see that annoying kitsune, Kurama, ever again.

Place where the little stars go

Kurama smiled to himself. Watching the fiery waiter deal with a drunk customer had been amusing to say the least. Hiei was quite a prize, to be sure.

Kuronue leaned over and tapped Kurama on the arm. "Hey Kurama. It's almost 10:30. Shouldn't you head around back?" Kurama glanced at the ornate clock across the room and noticed that it was indeed time for Hiei's shift to end. He was out the door in mere seconds. Kuronue thumped his head against the table before he ordered another drink. It was going to be a long night.

Place where the little stars go

Hiei snatched his coat off the back of a chair and pushed the heavy back door open. He allowed himself a satisfied smirk. That kitsune had been planning something, he was sure of it. Well, it wasn't going to work. That arrogant fox wouldn't know he was gone until it was too late. "Hn. Stupid kitsune."

"Stupid kitsune? I'm hurt my little spitfire. Really I am." Hiei froze at the sound of that rich mellow voice. 'Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!' He pivoted slowly on one foot to face him. The kitsune was leaning up against tall tree, the moonlight caused his hair to sparkle as it moved with the light breeze. His piercing gold eyes were set upon Hiei and a mocking smile played abut his lips.

"You weren't going to leave were you?" The kitsune took a step forward, "I thought we could get a drink somewhere."

"That's a polite way for saying that you want me to suck you off!" Hiei snarled.

Kurama put a hand to his chest in mock shock, "Wow. I didn't know you liked me that much. We've known each other for a few hours and already you're making advances. I'm flattered."

"I'm not making advances!" he hissed. "You're fucking full of yourself!"

Kurama's gold eyes narrowed and his youki rose slightly. Hiei tensed, waiting for an attack. He blinked as one never came and Kurama's youki lowered to its original level. The kitsune smirked and a fang poked out over his lower lip.

"What are you smirking about?" Hiei growled.

Kurama's grin only grew wider before he turned away. "You may leave," he said calmly with an elegant wave of his hand.

Hiei just stood there. "Wha-what?" he stammered. "What do you mean?"

Kurama looked over his shoulder at him, "I said you may leave. I've decided that I won't be getting anywhere with you tonight so I'll wait." He paused, "Unless..." Kurama turned towards Hiei and strode forward until he was two feet away from him. "Unless..." He reached out with a pale hand and lifted Hiei's chin. "Unless you're giving into me now."

Hiei's angry reply was cut off as Kurama closed the distance between them and a pair of warm lips were upon his. He clamped his teeth together in silent rebellion, refusing to allow that arrogant bastard access.

Kurama growled in frustration as Hiei's teeth locked together. _'Stubborn little thing he is.'_

He lifted one hand and pressed into the corner of Hiei's jaw, effectively parting his teeth and allowing him access to the sweet cavern within.

Hiei suppressed a moan as the kitsune's tongue plundered his mouth. Kurama deepened the kiss and his fangs collided with Hiei's with a wet crackling sound. '_How dare he!'_ Hiei's hands pressed against the kitsune's broad chest and he tried to push the damn creature away. But Kurama's arms had woven around him like bands of steel and Hiei couldn't make him budge. Enraged, Hiei dug his sharp nails into the hard flesh while at the same time attempting to bite off the damn kitsune's tongue which had ever so rudely tried to shove its way down his throat.

Kurama quickly retracted his tongue as Hiei's sharp teeth nearly snapped shut on it. He also calmly pulled the small demon's nails away from his chest before they found any vital organs. He chuckled softly as he looked down at the angry demon's face. A face that was nearly as red as his eyes. "Enjoy that did you?" he purred.

Hiei's eye's widened and Kurama found the sight utterly adorable. "Don't worry," he assured him, "I won't be doing anything more tonight. I got what I wanted." Kurama left Hiei standing there with a stupefied expression on his beautiful face as he strode back towards the inn.

Place where the little stars go

Kuronue raised a black eyebrow as Kurama slid into the seat across from him with a satisfied expression. "So," he drawled, "Did you fuck the little rascal?"

Kurama shook his head with a smug grin, "I have bigger plans than that, my friend."

A second eyebrow was raised, "Such as?"

"Well," Kurama shifted in his seat before reaching over and snagging Kuronue's drink. "I would like to have him as a lover instead of a one night stand. And..." He leaned forward with a devilish grin, "I plan to add him to our guild."

If Kuronue hadn't been sitting already he would've asked for a chair. "What!" he hissed. "You plan to add a _waiter_ to our guild of thieve's? You don't know anything about him!"

Kurama waved a hand, "I've asked around a bit and I've also realized where I've heard his name before. Hiei was the one who robbed Nowan's palace and got away with it."

That sent Kuronue into peals of laughter, "Him! That has gotta be the best joke you've ever come up with! Good one Kurama." "I'm serious," Kurama pouted. He hated it when no one took him seriously.

"Sure," Kuronue chuckled, "Where'd you get your information?" Kurama shrugged, "A reliable source. But that doesn't matter right now."

"Exactly," Kuronue yawned, "What matters is for you to go catch him. He's most likely far away from this place if you did what I think you did."

Kurama looked affronted, "I'm disappointed in you. Do you actually think I would let him leave without some way of finding him? I put a tracking device in him."

"In him?"

"Yes, I forced him to swallow it."

"Really." Kuronue frowned, "Then how do you know he isn't off puking it up right now?"

Kurama ran a hand through his silver hair, "Because he was far too preoccupied with my oh-so talented tongue to notice it."

Kuronue threw back his head and laughed for the second time that night, "You really are full of yourself, my friend."

Place where the little stars go

Hi people! What did you think of it? I got a few reviews today that put me in a really good mood so I went ahead and finished this chapter. So thanks, ko-krama! As I said before, no flames please but constructive criticism is fine.


	3. Closing in on my prey

Disclaimer: No, I don't own YYH. This is yaoi and kinda AU. Yay. Go me. Hope you enjoy it. This is chapter three of my reposted story. Hope you all enjoy it. Sorry for the delay.

Place where the little stars go

"So," Kuronue leaned forward on his elbows. "What are your thoughts?"

"Thoughts?" Kurama echoed, "Which ones?"

Kuronue rolled his eyes, "The ones on your feisty little bitch."

"Vixen. Not bitch," Kurama admonished gently, "And I plan to visit him again tonight. Maybe I should bring a gift. Fire demons like rubies, don't they?" He opened a leather pouch and began fishing through it. After a few minute's rummaging he brought out a large and beautifully cut diamond. "What about this?" He held it out to Kuronue, who simply stared at him.

"...What!" Kurama snapped.

Kurama smiled at his friend. It wasn't a happy smile. It was one Kurama had seen many times before. It was a smile that was reserved for when Kurama was acting stupid in Kuronue's opinion.

"What are you smiling about!" The fur on Kurama's tail began to bristle as he stood.

"Calm down," Kuronue gently pushed Kurama back into his chair. "I just find it amusing that you're acting much like you did when you were courting that mortal. What was his name?"

"Ikha," Kurama ground out.

"Oh, yes," Kuronue tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression, "I remember him. As I recall, he somewhat resembles your new toy."

"How so?"

"Well, they both are short, have black hair, soft skin according to you, feisty dispositions, and hate your guts. Did I leave anything out?"

Kurama sniffed indignantly, "Ikha didn't hate me!"

"He tried to cut your head off! Remember? He grabbed a sword and started swinging at you."

Kurama glared at him, "Yes, but he soon warmed up to me."

"That's beside the point. The point is that you're acting the same way," Kuronue began speaking in a high squeaky voice," Does he like diamonds? Maybe I should bring him a sapphire instead. Or maybe some flowers?"

If Kuronue had been paying attention, he would have noticed that Kurama's ki was rising. And that a vine was creeping up the back of his chair. Kuronue's hands flew to his neck as the vine wrapped tightly around it, effectively cutting off his air.

"What do you think? The ruby or the diamond?" Kurama casually held up two gems for his now blue friend to see. Kuronue quickly raised a hand and pointed frantically at the ruby. As he did, the plants released him and slithered away. He coughed and desperately drew in deep gulps of air. His eyes narrowed as Kurama stood up, "I guess this may do. But I'll need you to head back to the den to pick up the jewelry case I stole a few months ago. Kuronue groaned as the silver foxpractically skipped across the room and out he door.

"Oh, Inari. What did I do to deserve this?"

Place where the little stars go

Hiei scrubbed harshly at his skin with some sand from the bottom of the spring. "Stupid Kitsune! Why the hell can't I get rid of his stench!" '_Simple, he had his tongue down your throat and his hand on your ass_.'A little voice told him. It only made him scrub harder. He'd already burnt his clothing and had a fresh set setting on a rock near the bank. "Damn bastard. If I ever see him again it will be too soon."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

Hiei yelped and whipped around to find Kurama sitting on the bank...holding Hiei's clothes in one hand. Hiei sank farther into the water, not wanting that damn kitsune to see more than he already had.

"What do you want?" he hissed.

Kurama frowned, "Well, for one I would like a decent welcome. A simple 'Hello' would be nice."

"Why should I be polite!" Hiei snarled, "You're the one who didn't even ask for my consent before you jammed your tongue down my throat."

Kurama flecked a piece of imaginary dust off his tunic while discreetly trying to see exactly what that water felt it had the right to hide. "Fine. I see I won't be getting anything from you tonight."

"Other than a large portion of my saliva," Hiei grumbled. Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You're offering?"

Just get to the point, pervert!" Hiei yelled at him.

Kurama sighed in mock defeat, "I bring you a gift." He held out out a small leather pouch and placed it one Hiei's clothing, which he then set back into its original position on the rock. He then stood and, after giving Hiei a flirtatious smile, turned and faded into the darkness.

Hiei sat there, stunned, before he recovered his mind, "Wait! You stupid kitsune! How did you find me!" No answer. Hiei growled in frustration before he zipped over and donned his clothing as fast as he could. There was no way in hell he was giving that kitsune a show. He then looked down at the pouch and cautiously poked it. When it didn't blow up or move, he reached in and pulled out a beautiful ruby and a folded piece of paper. With curiosity killing him, he opened it.

Hiei

_I hope you will accept this gem as a token of my affection. And as an apology for my behavior. Leaving you like that was very rude of me. Next time I promise to finish the job._

Hiei's mouth fell open in shock.

_I would also like to add that I plan on courting you and for your sake, don't try to escape me. Till we meet again, my lovely little Kohna.Kurama_

_P.S. I'll be arranging for your new wardrobe. It's a shame that you hid such a delightful body from me._

Hiei stared at the ruby before he turned and flung it into the spring. "FUCK YOU, KITSUNE!"

Place where the little stars go

Kuronue lounged on the bed in their room, waiting. Waiting for Kurama to realize that there was no way in hell he was going to go on a twelve hour round trip hike just to pick up a chest for his newest toy.

"I guess he won't be coming back any time soon. Stupid kitsune," he sighed, "I guess I'll head downstairs for a drink." He pushed himself off the bed and strode out the door, down the hall, and down the stairs. He plopped down into the table they'd been at earlier, effectively scaring off the demons who were already threre. _Man. This sucks. _He thought. _Kurama found a toy and he left me here with no one but..._ Kuronue's thoughts trailed off. Which in case anyone is wondering, that never happens to him.

Standing across the room, currently taking some one's order, was a vision of loveliness. Long silver hair, pale skin, and one hell of an ass as far as he could tell. Discreetly he wiped his mouth to make sure he was rid of any drool. His heart began to beat faster as the creature straightened and began to make its sultry way towards his table. A delicate, heart-shaped face, a petite but curvy body, a...AAAAHHHH!

Poor Kuronue nearly jumped out of his skin as a large pair of breasts nearly took his head off. He realized that some one was sitting on his lap. A rather familiar some one. It was the waitress from earlier, Yaone. "Hello there, handsome. I see you came back?"

"Not for you," he muttered, peering over her head. The vision of loveliness had disappeared, leaving him alone once again._ Great. I need to get laid so badly I'm hallucinating. LIFE SUCKS!_

Place where the little stars go

Okay folks! What do you think of chapter three? By the way, the person Kuronue saw was not a hallucination. It was a character I made up. Yes, it is a guy for all you yaoi fans. Can you believe I wrote this whole chapter today during English? Hey, I had my work done, hahahahahahahaaaaaa! Please review, no flames but constructive criticism is fine.


	4. Ouch Prey has claws

Disclaimer: No, I don't own YYH. This is an AU. Note to the people who read my fanfics! Slowly, Always Tip the Waiter is reviving! Okay, I'm done with my disclaimer. I hope you enjoy my fourth chapter. Thank you so much to all my reviewers!

Kurama growled in frustration as he fished the ruby out of the water. He'd come back to the spring to humbly accept Hiei's appreciation of the fine gift, only to find the demon gone and his gift at the bottom of the spring. A the bottom of the SPRING! No one throws away a gift from Yoko Kurama! He slammed his fist into a small boulder, breaking it in half. His yellow eyes were burning a fierce gold and he pocketed the ruby, "How Dare He! I am Yoko Kurama!" He whipped around and began to stalk back in the direction of the inn.

Kuronue looked up in surprise as Kurama slid into the seat across from him. Kurama's normally calm face had a look of extreme irritation and his youkai was crackling like mad. Kuronue's eyebrows went up as he noticed half of the demons in the room sneaking out and casting nervous glances at Kurama. Kuronue sighed and ran a hand through his raven hair.

"Okay, what happened?"

Kurama thrust his fist forward and held out the ruby.

"He didn't appreciate you gift?"

Kurama snorted, " I'll say, he threw it in the pond."

Kuronue couldn't help but smile, "What did you say to him?"

Kurama glared at him, "I said nothing bad to him! I merely said that I planned on courting him!"

"Well, I guess he has no reason to be angry with you."

Kurama leapt to his feet, knocking back his chair, "Stop patronizing me, Damnit! I am Yoko Kurama! King of Thieves! The most famous and best looking to ever live! He has no right to reject me like that!"

Kuronue sat calmly, waiting for his friend to regain his temper. Finally, Kurama picked up his overturned chair and sat down.

"Are you finished?"

Kurama took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Kuronue decided to let him relax and waved over a waitress. He smiled charmingly at the petite brunette. "I will have a large order of Lo Mein and my friend here will have a plate of sushi and fried rice. The girl nodded and handed him a desert menu.

"Wait." Kurama's sharp voice startled both of them. "You. What time does Hiei's shift start tomorrow?"

"Um...U-uh," the waitress stammered, "H-he won't be here!"

"What?" Kurama cracked one eye open to peer at the nervous girl.

"W-well, y-you see, he doesn't work tomorrow. A-and h-he's gone on an extended

v-vacation!"

"To where?"

"Uh...t-the human realm...Y-yes! He went to the Ningenkai!"

Both of Kurama's eyes were now open and fixed upon the poor creature.

"You may leave now," Kuronue waved the trembling girl away. He then looked back to his companion. "You terrified her."

"She was lying."

"I know," Kuronue stretched his arms above his head. "It looks like your dear little fire bitch is trying to make you leave."

Kurama growled, "For the last time, it's vixen, not bitch!" He smirked, "He'll have to do better than that."

"You know," Kuronue mused, "He may already have a lover."

Kurama's smirk fled, "If he does, he's going to have to say good-bye. I'll kill him if I have to."

"What makes you think it's a male? It could be a female. What if Hiei has children? Will you kill them, too?"

Kurama scowled, "Shut up. You know I don't kill children. If Hiei is already mated, I'll have no choice but to let him go. But a lover is replaceable."

Kuronue held up his hands in mock defeat, "I tried." His eyes lit up as a steaming plate of his favorite dish was placed in front of him. "Ah, thank you, miss." He glanced up to smile. And his jaw dropped. It was the creature that he'd seen earlier before that annoying bimbo had plopped into his lap. The beautiful waitress.

"Excuse me sir, but I'm a male."

Waiter...HOT DAMN!

"Err...I'm so sorry!" Kuronue quickly apologized, "I assumed that we'd have the same waitress who took our order!" Kuronue gave a sheepish smile to the waiter who turned on his heel and walked back towards the bar. Kuronue's dark eyes followed the sway of his slim hips the entire way.

Kurama sat silently, watching the brief exchange between his friend and that attractive creature. It was very interesting, to say the least, to see Kuronue so flustered and infatuated. His lips slowly drew themselves into a smirk. 'Now he can't make fun of me anymore.' He slid back in his seat and watched the array of emotions flicker across Kuronue's face. Lust being a primary one.

"So?" Kurama's smirk grew as his voice jerked Kuronue out of his daze, "What was that about my being infatuated?"

Kuronue sighed and bowed his head in defeat, "Shut up Kurama."

"Here is your bottle sirs," Kurama blinked as a large bottle of cheap bear was placed in front of him. "We didn't order anything to drink," Kuronue said bluntly, all the while staring at the petite waiter.

The waiter pointed to a group of demons across the room, "They sent it over and request that you join them." The group of demon leered at Kurama and made beckoning motions with their slimy hands. Kurama raised an eyebrow before he handed the bottle back to the waiter, "Tell them that I decline their offer and to give wine next time they wish to impress some one. And then could you please bring us a small bottle of red wine?" The waiter nodded and wrote down their order.

"Wait!" the waiter paused and looked at Kuronue, "Yes?"

"What is your name?"

"The waiter blinked, "Can't you tell?" He glanced down at his chest, "Oh! Silly me! I forgot to put on my name tag! If you'll excuse me." He gave a short bow and hurried away.

Kurama snorted, "Why'd you ask such a stupid question?"

Kuronue pouted, "How was it stupid?"

Kurama grinned and popped a piece of fish into his mouth, "You sound like a lovesick child."

Kuronue picked up a noodle and flung it at Kurama. "Shut up."

Kurama elegantly ducked the flying projectile and Kuronue winced as it landed in the hair of one of the female patrons.

"Here is your wine, gentlemen." The waiter placed a bottle full of a deep red liquid in front of them.

"Thank you. Did you give my message to that table over there?"

The waiter nodded, "Yes, I did. They demand that you join them or they'll join you."

"I've got a better idea," Kuronue spoke up, "How about you join us instead." He peered closely at the name tag that was now present. "Tsuko? What a lovely name. Won't you join us, Tsuko?"

Tsuko shook his head, brushing a few strands of silver hair away from his pale face. "I'm afraid I can't. I get paid for working, not for lounging around."

"Just long enough for a drink? I'll pay for the time you missed. Please? I haven't meant such a beautiful creature in such a long time!"

Tsuko blushed deeply and glanced nervously over his shoulder, "Well, I guess I could. But just one drink! Then I get back to work!"

Kuronue gave him a genuine smile and reached out to pull over another chair.

"Don't bother," Kurama stood, "Tsuko, would you be ever so kind as to tell the demons at that table that I'll meet them outside? You may have my chair and glass." Tsuko nodded and hurried over to the other table. Kuronue watched dreamily as his silver-haired angel wove through the crowd.

Kurama chuckled softly at his friend's antics. He was glad that Kuronue was having fun, bt he was starting to grow slightly suspicious as well. How was it that in the same inn on the same night they both managed to find some one that suited their tastes perfectly? Of course it could just be coincidence, but Kurama hadn't become the greatest thief in the Makai by ignoring his instincts. He mentally frowned but he didn't feel like dampening Kuronue's mood so he slipped a few rice balls into his pockets and stepped away from the table. He noticed that the group of demons had already left.

"Kurama? Where are you going?"

"To take care of that group that sent over the beer. Don't expect me back anytime soon." He turned back to Kuronue, "While you're sharing a drink with your Tsuko, see what you can find out about Hiei. Will you?"

Kuronue waved him away, "Okay. Sure."

Kurama smirked and strode across the room and out the door. He had to get rid of that group of demons, after all.

What do you people think of that chapter? I hope it was long enough this time. By the way, with this chapter I'll be posting the new fanfic by my friend Natoya Mouto. Kay? Oh yes, and about that one thing with the Sesshomaru/Hiei pairing, if anyone would like to write one, go ahead. Think of it as a challenge. A Yami Marik/Hiei would be really cool also. I hope you like the fourth chapter of this. Please review and no flames. Constructive criticism is okay though.


	5. Tsuko

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH! However, I do own Tsuko, who's real name is Shio, but when I created this story, I had him using a fake name. Why did Hiei not give a fake name too, I have no idea. I figured it would be a little too confusing, and I like the name Hiei too much. I suddenly got the inspiration to write today, and I hope that you enjoy this much delayed chapter! Just so you know, I am going to California for 3 weeks, so there might not be many updates during July 11 to the 31st. And now I'm back. Thanks to my reviewers! I'm hoping to making this version of ATTW better than the first one.

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The last body hit the ground with a thud and a spray of blood. Kurama wiped the tiny fleck of red off his cheek and sighed. He was getting sloppy. At least his clothing was untouched.

"Send wine to my table, or sake! Cultureless peons!" He huffed as he stepped over one of the bodies. Despite the annoyance, the look on the demons' faces when they realized just who they were challenging had been priceless. If only Kurama could get Hiei to see him with even a semblance of the amount or reverence other demons held for him. Cool. Confident. Suave. Talented. Powerful. Drop dead sexy. How could someone resist him? Of course, Kuronue had told him once that there always had to be someone.

"Perhaps I've been going about this the wrong way?" Kurama stopped the think about this. He had been using his usual technique. Charm them off their feet and then swoop in for the kill. It had never failed before…well, he could say that it failed once, but he refused to count that.

"This may turn out to be…quite troublesome." Hiei had already proven that he was prepared to fight to the very end. Seriously, who throws away a priceless gem unless they're determined? Or just really stupid. Either one was plausible.

"Perhaps I should try something different? What do you think?" Kurama addressed the large vine plant that was currently sucking up the remains of the demons. The large red flower turned to face him before the jaws crunched down on the severed limb inside the blossom.

"Be more aggressive and less charming? That may be the ticket! Thank you!" The plant did a strange sort of nod and went back to its feeding. Kurama rubbed his hands together eagerly. It was all coming together. Hiei would be his in no time!

"Now, where did he go?..."

---------------------------

"Ya know…you got really pretty hair! And I'm not just saying that!" Tsuko swayed unsteadily on Kuronue's lap and the 'pretty'-haired demon wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him.

"Thank you." Tsuko leaned into Kuronue's chest and let his head rest against his shoulder. Big, dark, unfocused eyes looked up at Kuronue almost shyly. He thought it was insanely cute.

"But anyway! You wanted to know about Hiei? Hm?" Tsuko's voice trailed off into a low mumble and his eyes slid shut. Kuronue frowned. Was Tsuko asleep? From the amount of alcohol the demon had ingested, Kuronue was not surprised. The only question was, what did he do now? He couldn't question him. Sex was out of the question. Kuronue had tried once to have sex with someone who was unconscious. It was boring as hell. Not to mention the fact that Kurama was pissed beyond all reason when he woke up.

"How troublesome," He muttered.

"Oh my! Is our little Tsuko passed out again?" Yaomi giggled as she poked Tsuko in the forehead. The silver haired demon growled in his sleep and shifted away from her. She giggled again and Kuronue could feel a headache coming on.

"Do you know what I should do with him? I assume this has happened before?" She straightened and looked around the room.

"Well, Hiei-san usually takes care of him when this happens, but he disappeared a few hours ago…Oh! There he is!" She pointed at the bar, and Kuronue caught a glimpse of spiky black hair and an angry scowl. Hiei was moving towards them, and his glare grew more pronounced as he drew closer.

"I see you lost him," Kuronue commented when Hiei stopped in front of him. Hiei stared at him in confusion for a moment before he understood.

"The bastard doesn't take no for an answer." Kuronue nodded and Tsuko hiccupped suddenly. Hiei's gaze snapped to the demon curled up on his lap and he glared harder.

"Give him to me." He snapped. Kuronue curled an arm around Tsuko protectively.

"Why?" Hiei rolled his eyes and muttered something.

"He's my friend. He's coming with me." Kuronue eyed Hiei skeptically. Did he believe Hiei? No.

"I don't trust you enough to let you have him." He stated calmly. Hiei's left eye twitched a little.

"You're not taking him." Hiei ground out.

"Why not?"

"Because you're not, that's why!" The two stared at each other and the air around them crackled with demonic energy. Patrons near them instantly began moving away.

"Give him to me." Hiei growled.

"Make me." Kuronue didn't flinch at the overwhelming intent to kill that practically oozed out of Hiei's aura. He would be surprised if the gods themselves didn't perk up at the hostility.

Fortunately, before the Hiei induced blood bath could ensue, a certain someone chose that moment to wake up.

"Hiei!!!" Kuronue flinched at the loud voice right next to his ear. Tsuko sure could shout.

"Tsuko." Hiei ground out. His glare at lessened slightly, but it was still damn scary. And poor Tsuko had it fixed firmly on him. The silver haired demon cringed.

"Sheesh. What's up wit'chu?" His speech was still slurred, but he'd only been out for a few minutes. It was not as if the alcohol had gone anywhere.

"We're leaving. Now." Tsuko pouted, but accepted Hiei's outstretched hand and allowed himself to be pulled off Kuronue's lap and out of his arms. Kuronue felt his stomach tighten as Hiei led the intoxicated demon away from him. He was leaving…What if he never saw him again?

"Wait!" He pushed out of his chair and hurried to catch them before they left. He caught them at the door and he grabbed Tsuko's arm to stop him. He ignored Hiei's scowl and focused instead on Tsuko.

"Will I see you again?" He asked desperately.

"No." Hiei snapped.

"I didn't ask you!" Tsuko was silent. He looked at Hiei, and then he looked up at Kuronue. For the first time that night, he looked truly uncertain.

"Will I?" Kuronue asked again. He had to know. He did not know why, but he had to.

"I…Yes." Tsuko ignored Hiei's glare and reached up to touch the side of Kuronue's face. His small fingers wrapped around a lock of dark hair and he pulled Kuronue's head down so that he could kiss him firmly on the mouth. The kiss lasted barely a second, because the second Hiei realized what was happening, he yanked Tsuko away from Kuronue and pulled him out the door. The heavy wooden door slammed shut a few inches away from his nose and he glared at the offensive object.

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"What were you thinking?!" Hiei let Tsuko slide off his back as he came to a stop in front of the cave that they were using as their base of operations. It was much less comfortable than their actual hideout, but it had to do for the time being.

"You're an ass." Tsuko snapped as he tried to stand. The amount of alcohol he had consumed had not been enough to impair his judgment, no matter how inebriated he had acted, and Hiei's attitude was doing a great job of pissing him off.

"It's a good thing I showed up when I did!" Hiei's voice trailed off as the irate fire demon stormed into the cave. Tsuko rolled his eyes at his friend's behavior and followed him. Well, he tried to. Actually, he tripped over a rock and landed face first on the ground. So maybe the alcohol affected him a little more than he cared to admit. So what?

"C'mon, Hiei!" He yelled when he finally stumbled to his feet. His nose smarted a little, but the rest of him was okay! He carefully avoided the rock and made his way into the cave. The wards were designed to keep out unfriendly visitors, but they brushed over Tsuko without a hitch. He had to admit, they came in handy when Hiei was pissed at him. He could stand there and laugh while the enraged demon tried to get past the wards. Hiei had trouble with those wards when he was in a _good_ mood, but angry…yeah.

"You act like I told the guy every secret down to the color of your panties!" Tsuko ducked in time to avoid the heavy rock that Hiei threw at him, but he almost tripped again.

"I don't wear undergarments," Hiei grouched as he settled next to the fire pit. Tsuko grinned and plopped down next to him.

"I can't argue with that," Tsuko playfully snaked an arm around Hiei's waist and pulled him closer. "I happen to know quite well what you've got under those clothes."

"Hn." Hiei blushed and wriggled out of Tsuko's grip. He sighed and watched as Hiei crouched down to start the fire.

"And what's with this name?" He asked curiously.

"What about it?"

"Why'd you pick Tsuko? What does it mean, anyway?"

"It means 'protected child'." A silver eyebrow rose when Hiei admitted this.

"Protected child? Hiei, I never would have thought you cared so much!" Hiei made a face and the fire sprang to life.

"It's a fairly common name in Lirunk province, and you know why I chose it."

"Yeah." Tsuko stretched out on the cold stone floor and smiled. "I've got the best damn protector in all of the Makai, don't I?"

"Hn."

"Still…I liked my old name! Why can't I use it?"

"Because it attracts too much attention." Tsuko scowled and fingered a small pebble.

"My full name, you mean."

"No. Even the shortened version attracts attention. Do you want to let them know right where you are? Word travels fast."

"Alright! I get it!" Tsuko tossed the pebble at Hiei's head, but the demon caught it with ease. Tsuko sighed and rolled onto his back.

"I still don't see what the problem with 'Shio' is, anyway."

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Next morning

"I've decided on a more direct method, mixed in with my own special blend of hotness and charm." Kuronue sighed and Kurama prattled on about his new plan. This was not his day. First, Kurama became infatuated with that waiter, which was fine on its own. Then, he decided that said waiter would make an awesome addition to their private, exclusive, you go to be good to get in, and attractive, guild of thieves. So far they had about…two people. Sadly, those two included himself and Kurama. But hey, those were some tough guidelines to go by. Hiei was attractive, in a weird 'I-hate-you-die' kind of way. Whether he was actually a competent thief or not…well, Kurama claimed that he had a reliable source. Of course, he also said he had a reliable source for a good meat bun recipe, and that certainly was not true.

"I thought that perhaps I could-!" Why was Kurama so interested in the brat, anyway? He wasn't _that_ attractive. Speaking of attractive…Kuronue almost smiled as he thought about his own thief. The thief of his heart, to be more exact. Or his libido, at least. Actually, to be more clear, Tsuko had managed to snag his damn libido's attention. Which meant that, until his urge was satisfied, he would not be able to 'get it up' for anyone else. That would really suck if he never saw Tsuko again.

"By the way, I screwed your sister yesterday."

"I don't have a sister." Kuronue snapped. Kurama grinned smugly.

"I had to see if you were listening!"

"I was. It's a great plan. Go for it." Kuronue slammed his head down on the table and ignored his friend's indignant huff. After a few minutes of being ignored, something Kurama hated, he heard the scrape of the chair and the silver kitsune stalked away from the table.

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"Damn Kuronue and his inner thoughts," Kurama huffed as he stalked through the forest. The sky was a lovely color of blue today. Well, he couldn't really see it through the trees, so it might be a dark grey. But he was a tad optimistic, so he was going to pretend that it was blue. But back to the subject. Damn Kuronue and his inner thoughts!

"How dare he pay more attention to his thoughts than mine!" A tree politely moved out of his way and he thanked it as he walked by.

"It probably has something to do with that silly waiter he met last night." Kurama sighed. That had to be it. Another episode of 'stolen libido'. Honestly, how ridiculous.

"I've got my plan, I've got the materials, which would be myself, the only thing I'm missing is the demon in question." Kurama tapped his chin thoughtfully. True, he had forced Hiei to swallow a seed that emitted a very faint ki, and for him it would be easy to follow. The only problem was that he couldn't even sense the blasted thing. Granted, he could only sense it if it was close enough, say a few hundred miles. So either Hiei had somehow destroyed it, or he was somewhere that prevented Kurama from sensing its ki.

"Damnit." Kurama ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "What I need is someone who would know where Hiei is. Someone who knows him…"

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"How did you come to be working here?" Kuronue asked as Tsuko poured him another drink. The silver haired waiter shrugged.

"You have to make a living somehow."

"Really? There are so many other things you could do."

"Such as?"

"You are very beautiful. Have you considered entertaining?" Kuronue would definitely pay money for Tsuko to perform for him. Preferably alone in his bedchamber. Instead of the light blush he had expected, Tsuko's dark eyes hardened and he drew away sharply.

"I'm not a prostitute." Tsuko turned sharply on his heel and would have left had there not been a hand gripping his shoulder.

"That's not what I meant!" Kuronue desperately tried to clear his mind of the haze that had settled over it from the moment he walked in. Tsuko had that effect on him, it seemed.

"Then what did you mean?" Tsuko asked coldly.

"I meant something more along the lines of dancing, or theater!" He might have been thinking something a little more exotic for himself, but for the public eye, he had been serious about the theater. Tsuko held his gaze for a moment before his eyes closed and he laughed.

"I've never heard that before!" Chuckling softly, Tsuko allowed Kuronue to gently pull him back to the table.

"I'm sorry." Kuronue found himself apologizing for the first time in years to someone he barely knew.

"It's okay." Tsuko almost allowed himself to be pushed into the chair next to Kuronue, but instead he straightened.

"Sorry, I've got to work." He grinned cheerfully at Kuronue and almost bounced away from the table. The raven haired demon gripped the edge of the table in frustration. The one thing he was not known for was patience, and Tsuko was pushing it.

"Kuronue!" Kuronue looked up at the yell and was greeted by the sight of Kurama jumping over a nearby table and landing next to him with a large grin on his face. A dark eyebrow rose as Kuronue eyed his excited friend. This was...odd. The usually composed youko was bouncing on the balls of his feet like and excited child and his eyes were alight with a mischevious gleam.

"Yes?" The demons at the table that Kurama had leapt over were shouting obsenities at Kurama's back. A few seconds later they were silent as vines wrapped around their necks and cut off their air supply. The room emptied rather quickly.

"I've got a plan!" Kurama crowed.

"Okay..."

"And it involves the thief of your libido!"

"He did not steal my libido!"

"Someone stole your libido?" They both turned at the familiar voice and Kurone cursed Kurama's rotten timing.

"That's not-," Kuronue started, but Kurama cut him off.

"Yes! Someone has stolen our dear Kuronue's awe-inspiring libido!" Tsuko's gaze went straight to Kuronue's lap and his face turned slightly green.

"That sucks... Did they leave anything?" Kuronue was shocked that Tsuko was going along with Kurama's ridiculous claim.

"Not a bit!" Kurama declared dramatically. "That retched thief took it from him!"

"Yegh...Who the hell goes around stealing a guy's bits?" Silence fell over the table. Even Kurama was shocked into stillness.

"Stealing bits?" Kurama finally asked. Tsuko shifted the tray in his arms and his eyes flicked towards Kuronue's groin again.

"Well, you said...you know...that _it_ was gone?" The two stared at him for a few more seconds before Kuronue placed his hand over said bits.

"_It_ is still there." He growled, and his anger subsided slightly when Tsuko blushed. Damn, he was too pretty.

"I didn't mean literally." Kurama said quietly, and the awkward silence fell until the fox remembered why he came in.

"Oh! Tsuko! I need your assisstance!" The silver haired waiter leaned away from Kurama nervously.

"With what?" He asked suspiciously. Kurama held up a plate of meat buns with a smile and Kuronue blinked in confusion. What the hell?

"I need you to tell me what you think of these! You too, Kuronue!" Kuronue repressed a whimper. Not the meat buns.

"Um...okay..." Tsuko hesitantly took the offered meat bun and glanced over at Kuronue. 'Eat it quickly!' He mouthed at him before he shoved the meat bun in his mouth. Hardly graceful, but anything to avoid the taste. Tsuko paled, but did as he was told. His face turned slightly green, but he swallowed and smiled shakily.

"Its...very good..." Kurama beamed at him and set the plate down on the table.

"I'll be back! I've got some plans to review!" With that, Kurama strode out of the bar much more calmly than he'd entered. The second he was gone. Tsuko made a face,

"That was the worst meat bun I've ever had!" He snatched the bottle of liquor of the table and took a few swallows.

"I know what you mean." Tsuko was kind enough to hand the bottle to Kuronue to help him rid his mouth of the fowl taste. Even as he did that, Kuronue had to wonder at his friend's odd behavior. Who bounces into a bar and orders people to taste horrible meat buns? What kind of plot was he concocting now? If he wanted to make random people suffer, those damn meat buns were the way to do it. But why the hell did he have to make Kuronue suffer, too?

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"I love it when a plan comes together!" Kurama giggled as he dropped a squealing mouse into one of his flowers. A crunch, and the squealing stopped.

"Might I ask what the hell this damn plan has to do with forcing me to eat those disgusting meat buns!?" Kurama looked up from his plant.

"Oh. You."

"Yes! Me! What the hell was that?!" Kurama smiled in a secretive manner that he knew irritated his partner to no end. As expected, Kuronue began fidgeting in extreme frustration until Kurama sighed. He would eventually have to tell poor Kuronue what he was doing.

Kurama opened his mouth, but closed it when something caught his attention. He ignored his fuming friend and focused on the familiar energy.

"YES!" He shouted, thoroughly startling poor Kuronue. "HE'S ON THE MOVE!"

"Wha-?" Kurama took off without another word. Kuronue, after a few seconds of stunned silence, gave up and took off after his insane friend.

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"Something weird happened today." Tsuko said as he changed out of his uniform.

"Hn?" Hiei ignored his naked friend as he concentrated on sharpening his katana. Alright, that was a lie. He looked a little. Was it his fault that Tsuko was just stripping down in front of him?

"That weird kitsune forced me to eat a meat bun." Tsuko said with a straight face as he pulled a shirt over his head.

"..."

"I know! Freakish! He just showed up out of nowhere and started going on about the meat buns and how I should try one! So I did! And it was the most disgusting thing ever!"

"He could have been trying to poison you." Hiei snapped.

"Nah. He made Kuronue eat one, too. But I'm surprised the taste alone didn't kill me! I've never had anything so vile!"

"You're just spoiled." Hiei inspected the blade closely. No, not sharp enough.

"How the hell could I be spoiled? I have to eat _your_ cooking." Well, the blade was certainly sharp even to decapitate someone...

"Hn."

"See? You admit that you're a sucky cook!" Hiei sheathed his sword and glared at his now fully clothed friend.

"Then I guess you're going to skip the sucky dinner that I cooked?" Tsuko faltered.

"What'd you make?" He asked cautiously.

"Fish. Rice. Chocolate covered tomatoes."

"Chocolate covered tomatoes?!" Tsuko fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around Hiei. "I take back everything I ever said about you! Ever! You are the shining star that graces my poor, pathetic, chocolate-covered-tomatoless world!"

"Get off!" Hiei pushed the exuberant demon off and Tusko fell onto his back.

"To dinner!" Tsuko crowed. "To chocolate covered tomatoes!"

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"This is just great." Kuronue muttered as he crouched under a bush. It had started raining sometime during their persuit of whoever the hell Kurama was after. It was still raining. Kuronue was wet, cold, uncomfortable, and pissed off. Kurama was in a tree a few feet away, his pale eyes fixed upon the cave entrance. Thanks to his plants, he was perfectly warm and dry. His lack of concern for Kuronue probably stemmed from being called a crazy bastard during the chase.

"I'll wait until morning." Kuronue sigh. Kurama was talking to himself again. No doubt about this stupid plan of his. Why the hell couldn't he pull this off without him? Kuronue shivered. Damn, what he needed was a nice hot bath, with bubbles, and a naked Tsuko. Yeeeeaaaah...

"Fuck!" Kuronue was jerked out of his steamy fantasy by a tree branch that rudely connected with his skull.

"Pay attention!" Kurama snapped.

"What the fuck am I supposed to be paying attention to?! Why the hell did you drag me along on your damn persuit of that short little shit?!"

"Because," Kurama said indignantly, "I need you to distract his waiter friend so I can slip in unnoticed."

"Tsuko?" Kuronue's eyes were instantly fixed on the cave entrance. His mind was already full of all the ways he could 'distract' Tsuko. He might be getting that bath after all.

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TBC...

Well? Like it? Hate it? And no, Hiei and Tsuko/Shio are not going to be in a romantic relationship. They're sort-of...friends/partners with benefits. There's actually a whole story behind that. I might get into it, I might not. For some reason, spellcheck doesn't work on this silly computer. Damn you, Windows Vista!!! Anyway, I'll be updating Homicidal Urges soon. I'm waiting for 170 reviews. Of course, I still have to finish the chapter first. What can I say? Reviews make the world go round, so review! Flames will be used for things that I'm not allowed to talk about.


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